I love acting and I live for the thrill of being on stage, so when my Sophomore English teacher, Mr. Betteridge, offered extra credit if we participated in the high school Poetry Out Loud competition, I thought why not?
Poetry Out Loud is a recitation competition of poetry. The students learn 3 poems: one poem from Pre-20th Century, one poem of 25 lines or fewer, and a third poem of free choice. The students memorize and embody the poems to convey its meaning to the audience. This experience is unique to anything I have done before, so naturally I was nervous to compete.
When I first competed, it was the school’s first ever Poetry Out Loud competition as well. I recited the poems “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart” by Kevin Young, “The Days Gone By” by James Witcomb Riley, and “Love Song” by Dorothy Parker. Back then I will admit,I did not feel as connected to the poems I chose.I knew their meanings, however I did not ‘feel that feeling.’ I simply just shared it. Still, I managed to win first in my school-wide competition and advanced to regionals at the University of Arizona Poetry Center, where I placed second. At the state competition, I did not advance to the final round of recitations.
After my loss my parents urged me to participate in the competition again. It got me thinking on how Poetry Out Loud is like acting, and how many people who participate are actors originally. You take an emotion you want to convey, and you feel it so the audience can feel it. You want the audience to understand your emotion, your message, and relate or feel something for you. While acting you become someone else; you embody a character in a situation, and in this instance the students embody the poet's message.
The poems I chose to do this year were unique to feelings I felt. I truly felt I was on stage representing a message and embodying the poem; rather than being seen as the person performing the poem. I was the poem.
Performing in front of an audience, regardless, is not easy. There is the lurking fear of who is out there watching, maybe even judging, and how that can affect your performance. Or you can simply ignore what is in front of you and pretend no one is there? Afterall, from the stage I can hardly see anyone unless I try really hard—which is a good thing. While there will be people who think the art of performing is “odd” or “weird,” you just gotta remember that there are other people like you! Groups and schools dedicated to your passion are just waiting for you once you get that diploma out of your high school filled with people who are just not ready to have an open mind to other people's true interests.
This year I chose poems that I could truly embody: I really thought about their meanings more and what they mean to me.
“Envy” by Mary Lamb, was a resemblance of Envy over time. I thought of it as advice the poet gives to others about Envy. “Flowers” by Cynthia Zarin, was about a woman who has lost her significant other and has stumbled upon flowers that reminded her of the first time they met. The more items she names the more weight she physically carries with her, but also mentally due to the loss of her loved one. I thought of it as a lament tone the woman has, with the remembrance of losing that someone. Both of these poems strayed away from the emotion of simply just frustration and complexion of confusion. It also brought in a sense of sympathy for the poet or story being brought to light. The Complexion of envy, being shown through each stanza as a “stage” of Envy.
Mary Lamb herself was a 1700’s author, who was best known for her adaptation of Shakespear plays with her brother, Charles Lamb, and her mental illness of Bipolarity later in life. She wrote envy to show that envy clouds our mind of judgment to where we judge ourselves into not appreciating our uniqueness. Rather with the story of Flowers bringing a sympathetic view of a woman being remembered of a loved one through flowers they brought her, reappearing on her kitchen counter. This brings complexion to the lament memories she faces with these flowers and how they bring both “beauty and sorrow” in her life.
Then we have my personal favorite, “Ars Poetica” by José Olivarez. This poem portrayed the poet’s experience of immigration and how he and his family endured it, with the use of irony and powerful diction. I was shown this poem by a history teacher at my school, Ms. Ehramjian, and I thought it told a powerful story that I wanted to convey and tell to everyone who listened. A lot of people loved this poem and how I portrayed the frustration and power the poem brings to the stage. Another teacher of mine, Mr. Pujol said he LOVED that piece greatly and expressed how it impacted him, the way I performed the piece. My friend Gennie expressed how she loved the Mexican representation in the poem and they need more representation out there. I felt proud to be reciting this poem, and representing Latin Americans. This year I have taken into consideration to pick poems that really resonate with me. I set time aside and sat with my poem, rewriting it, drawing scenes about them, and transforming the poems into a way in which I could understand them. In a poetry workshop I did last year for Poetry Out Loud, they taught me a method that could help someone really understand the poem more. You put yourself in the poet's shoes, and imagine where you think they are writing this, what time period they are in, how they might be feeling, why you think they are writing this poem, and what happened before that caused this feeling to occur? It is a really powerful method that takes you back to when they wrote it. I used the method for mainly my Pre 20th Century poems, especially because of its flowery diction that makes the reader think deeper into what they are actually trying to say.
The topic of immigration has been a sensitive topic for years and poems like these bring power and a voice for those still struggling with immigration. To be the voice the poet wants to convey is a high bar to reach, but that poem made me feel empowered and confident. In the poem the poet asks “Why poems?” and the poem ends without an answer. When I performed this piece I realized the ending would be a difficult ending to portray with meaning. The poem leaves an answer unspoken, but raised so many questions as to what the answer might be.
My interpretation was the poem and its message was the answer. Poems can send powerful messages, so when being asked “Why poems?” I envision a tone of annoyance. With the poet Oliverez going through a powerful topic then being asked a question beyond the topic as to why he is announcing the topic through poems. The poem is not unfinished because the answer was right in front of us in the poem after all. The abruptness of the poem's end, leads to a significant impact of reflection as the audience sits in silence after the poem is done. That is what really brought this poem to stand out to me. Even when looking at some of Jose Olivarez’s other work in his book “Promises of Gold”, I saw his poems held cultural significance and underlying criticism towards capitalism. I even had the honor of witnessing his recitation of his own poems before the competition. The title itself talks about the echoing promise of the “American Dream” and replicating “the struggle of loving & learning & growing” quoted from the author's note. The message Jose brings to his poems are from his and his family’s experience in Mexico to his opinions on a “Utopia” brings a new light to these topics that have been a recurrent topic. His book is a wonderful work of poetic literature that I strongly encourage people reading, because my description really doesn’t do the poems justice.
I’ve spent so much time with José Olivarez’s poem that I’ve started to answer that question—“Why poems?”—myself. My answer is that poetry gives a complex understanding to problems nationwide. In the poem José writes, “In other words, just because it is art doesn't mean it is inherently nonviolent,” giving the portrayal that poetry, like art, can bring people together and tear people apart. However in the author's note Jose Olivarez states “I don't have answers for machismo…I don't have answers for how to overthrow capitalism” and says that these poems are a “reflection of the world I want to live in.” So while I have my own answer to this poem, there may not be one answer or no answer at all.
This year took a different turn for the better, because I actually won the state competition up in Flagstaff, and was very thrilled to realize I would represent Arizona in the national Poetry Out Loud competition up in Washington DC! Becoming Arizona's new Poetry Out Loud state champion was one of the most exciting things I have accomplished! To be able to put myself out there more and more has been such a great experience for me.
Along the way, my friends were super supportive of this process! Letting me run my poems with them or rant, about how (even though I have done it before!) I am still nervous about my competition. My friend Rui Baldraco is a prime example of that. I begged Rui to compete with me in this past year’s competition and when they agreed, I was thrilled! Rui is an underclassman, so I wanted them to compete in case if I lost they would basically be my “successor” and carry on the poetry torch! Rui went with me to the regional and state competition, after winning the school competition, and was there whenever I wandered around aimlessly reciting my poetry. Another friend who helped encourage me was my friend Kylie Rowe. I can not express how badly I wanted to run off from the competition the first time, if it were not for her sticking by me, and encouraging me the entire time. She now covers the Poetry Out Loud section of the school newspaper for me!
My family also supports me greatly as well, from being there when I am reciting my poem over and over to helping me through a nervous frenzy. My dad and my mom post my achievements on their social media accounts and even talk about me to THEIR friends. They always tell me how grateful and proud they are of me, and it truly means a lot because they each are people I look up to.
Not just my classmates, or family, but the school's faculty cheered me on as well! The day of my competition I had teachers pause class and put on the competition to watch me perform. We aren’t talking JUST English teachers—we are talking Math teachers as well. My Math teacher, Mr Reynolds, even made me his computer background once I got back. Outside of school, my Poetry Out Loud instructor, Taylor Johnson, helped me run the poems countless times. I bet she even memorized the poems as much as I had! I even got recognition at the schools award assembly they hold for sports and CTE competitions! They recognized me as “Sahuarita’s First” person to go to Nationals to represent not only Arizona, but my school. I am recognized on campus by any faculty—even by the staff members that I haven’t even met yet! A specific teacher as well would be Mrs. Ayla Verdugo, who always encouraged me to do my best. Every time I had doubts I would go to her and she always knew the right things to say. A final faculty member that supported me is obviously Mrs. Michelle Betteridge herself. She encouraged me from the very start, when I showed even the slightest of interest. Knowing my theater background, and love for poetry, she greatly encouraged me to try to compete. If I hadn’t I would have never even known I would make it this far. She was very proud of me throughout this whole experience, and I even was told she would talk about me at faculty meetings which is such an honor and sweet thing for her to say about me! Having the support I have to be able to put myself out there means so much to me especially since I grew up shy! If I went to tell my younger self what I do now, she would think I was a different person. I know people in my life who have seen me grow have been really proud of me, and making them proud is what keeps me going. Even though I only listed a few faculty members and friends, a bunch of people were supportive of me and were wishing me the best.
Every time I got up on stage to recite my poems, I felt the warm feeling of nervousness and excitement. Which, believe me, is a good thing to have those feelings, because a lot of people have told me that if you're nervous then that just shows you care about what you are doing.
A few short months later, I was in Washington DC: entering the big stage for Poetry Out Loud National Championship. It was all I ever dreamed of. Being on a stage that big and looking at all the rows of possible seats made me feel elated and ecstatic. Some people back at home asked me how I am able to just go up in front of everyone and perform, and to be honest I am not exactly sure myself. If you are backstage with me I am ALL jittery, but once I am on stage, the only thing that is on my mind is my poem. I practically perform as if no one is watching because you can not see anyone in the crowd from up there—not until you hear the roar from the crowd after you're done. And that is what I love about what I do.
While I was in competition, what stood out to me the most was how supportive and kind everyone was with one another, and how quickly bonds can be formed with total strangers your age from a different territory or state. Since the first time I participated in Poetry Out Loud, I have made one friend each competition to talk too during. At the state competition people from my region, Yuliana Alvarez and Madeleine Chapman hoped I would win, and I truly thank them for that.
While I was up in DC, I was very nervous to communicate with the other participants.However, there were welcoming people who always tried to include me! A girl from Oregon, Katie Lineburg, saw me hesitate to walk in during the after party and said, “I know it seems intimidating in there, but we can make room for you.” A girl from Guam, Nikolette Jade Salas, was SO supportive and vibrant with everyone who interacted with her; she really did light up the room every time she walked in. Usually I get very nervous when talking with other people, but she walked up to me and started making conversation immediately! She even introduced me to her friends that she made here as well! There were some people I talked too, that told me this was not their first time at Nationals, and some told me it was their last chance at Nationals. As much as I wanted to win, hearing that made me grateful I got to experience this atleast once, and that I have a potential chance to make it up to Nationals again.
Being in this community has made me feel welcomed and comfortable in the activities I enjoy. Knowing there are others who love poetry, do theater, and other artistic talents that I enjoy made me feel I belonged.
One of the biggest highlights of the national competition was that I got to meet the author of “Ars Poetica,” José Olivarez. It was such an honor to meet him, get his autograph, and even have him see my recitation from the first time I recited it on Instagram. “This is hella cool” he posted!
What's next? I’m going to do this again! I have been asked countless times if I’m going to do this again and I am! The Fall of 2025 will be my senior year and my third and final time participating in Poetry Out Loud. Hopefully I get as far as I got last time!
Outside of Poetry Out Loud, I have been gaining more leadership roles, applying for more essays, participating in my passions of film and drama on campus, and trying to get into theater companies in my local area. I am going to start applying for colleges and am definitely going to pursue film and/or drama in the future. Both film and drama have given me this confidence boost on stage and expressing myself—to being confident of my presence. My film and TV teacher, Mr Marshall, tells me to “Look confident in what you’re doing and you won’t be questioned.” Especially my first time filming in an assembly and I was scared all eyes were on me. I shook off the feeling and just stood my ground confident. Now filming at assemblies is one of my favorite things I get to do as Historian of film every Quarter!
The Poetry Out Loud experience has provided me a taste of being in the spotlight and on the big stage that is not surrounded by my small community. With my career consisting of being in the Film industry—whether as an actor or producer—it is hard to get my name out there when you’re in a small rural town where everyone is related somehow. Poetry Out Loud gave me courage that my career path is still fitting for me. I have this passion for being on the stage and knowing I could have more opportunities open up for me because Poetry Out Loud is amazing, and I am sure other young striving performers were grateful for the experience as well.
Poetry Out Loud also opened my eyes for a new appreciation for poetry. The school system has always made students hate poetry, due to the endless analysis of poems from the Pre 20th Century—which are not bad poems, but the diction is used so you have to interpret each line and its meaning. Poetry is a beautiful and moving work of art that I believe is underappreciated. Poetry Out Loud has shown me new experiences, friends, and appreciation of the smaller things, and I encourage anyone who is the slightest interested in the program to try it out!
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Isabel Teran is a young artist who takes part in all things fine arts. Arizona's 2024 Poetry Out Loud Winner, Teran is not only able to recite poetry of someone else's, but writes her own as well. 2024's competition was Teran's second time with the Poetry Out Loud organization, and she can’t wait to participate again next year.